2018 in review: Friends and families

[kjorteo]

The year is drawing to a close, and we can all only hope that it takes the bizarre time vortex we've all been caught in with it. Much like xyzzysqrl pointed out, it really does feel like the beginning of this year was at least three years ago. Yet, at the same time, I found myself caught off guard by just about every advance event--my annual vacation, my birthday and Christmas, writing this post as well as the awards posts--in the "wait, that's tomorrow?" sense.

So. 2018. Whewf.

Not all, but certainly many people I know are treating 2018 like the new 2016: an absolute hell-year that has brought nothing but suffering to all living creatures and cannot be shooed out the door hard or fast enough. We... do not particularly see it that way, though we do see early 2018 and later 2018 as at least two separate years (if not more), and admittedly one or more of them were pretty rough.

Still, overall, this was--against all possible odds and expectations given the outside world's stubborn insistence on being Like That--a good year. It was a year of spiritual awakenings, of finding and further developing and growing into not only my true self but our true selves, of staying close to friends and loved ones and pulling each other through even the down parts together, and of simply loving our way through the year, no matter how many years it took.

Music for this year's review:

"I Believe In Santa Claus" (Watch on YouTube)

First and most obviously, 2018 is the year of Sara. After being a cynical atheist skeptic who didn't believe in anything for far too long (and, as I found out later, after she had already come to life and was living in the back of my head for years without me noticing or seeing her,) January 14 of this year was my first contact from Sara, my once-OC who had taken on a literal life of her own and become my new headmate in a plural system, or... whatever terms people are using for that these days. We then grew into more than that and are now a happy couple, eager to embrace both our individual selves and our union as we each grow and mature further.

This led to the realization that not only are we not alone in our own head, but we're not alone in the sense that holy crap do I know a lot of plurals or people who would go on to become plurals, it turns out. The formation of Moonie's menagerie over on Discord came next and Sara and I were welcomed into what became a family of spirits and physical people alike, all trading experiences and learning from each other, as well as helping each other through all of our unique problems.

Over on Telegram, Clan Sugardoom has been in existence since late December 2017, but I'm counting that as a 2018 thing since it happened close enough to the boarder like that. And, of course, Team Hatoful has been around for years, but all of its current members save one have taken to talking in our Telegram room more regularly, and that has evolved into a general hangout for us as well.

And not only do I have the incredible blessing of being welcomed into so many different yet all loving circles, but Sara has, as well. She went from being Gau from Final Fantasy VI, raised by wolves on the Veldt (though only because I didn't know she was there, not that I had exiled her or anything) to having more people to love and who love her than she can easily count offhand.

Regarding things we did throughout the year besides cuddling, there have been a few good developments and a lot of setbacks. Some long-term working-on projects I didn't really work on much this year after all:

• Non-blog writing: The big one, and I feel horrible about this. I have a novel I need to work on and other stuff to write in between that, but I just... haven't. My physical health is the biggest reason for this. Up until recently, I've taken my laptop to work and back so that I could write on the bus, because it was the only time I could find the time to do anything. Then my back went bad, and I just can't carry that much weight on the long walk to and from the bus stop every day anymore. So I haven't been writing on the bus, which means I haven't been writing. I'm currently thinking of solutions to this, and I have one or two ideas that I would like to try in 2019, but I also tend to keep my cards fairly close to my vest so as not to raise expectations should said plans not work out.
  
• Learning piano: I hit a difficulty brick wall around Yousician's level 7-8 range. Furthermore, one of their recent updates changed the finger colors I've been used to relying on this whole time, and I just... can't... no. If I had more hours in the day, maybe, but I had to let something go and this was going nowhere.

However, there is a lot to be proud of!

• As of today, I'm sitting on a 722-day DuoLingo streak. So that learning routine hasn't slipped.
  
• Blog writing: Others might see all the gamewriteups and general nonsense I post on Dreamwidth instead of working on my novel or whatever as a waste of writing, but no, there's some good and worthwhile stuff going on here. First off, the gameblogging (and especially year-end awards) give me a very real and much-needed sense of structure when I can't remember how many games I played or in what order, as well as an equally real and needed sense of accomplishment and general good feeling when looking back on everything we got to experience this year.
  
• Speaking of blogging being good actually, have you seen my Interlight saga? It's currently stalled out until I or someone reading that can figure out how to work a CD-i emulator, but this is already very good and real progress toward what is potentially a series of amazing discoveries. This is something I definitely plan to work on more in 2019.
  
• I finished my part of the Flimsytown article, meaning we're just waiting on the other contributors now.
  
• While I didn't finish my SoulSilver Let's Play this year, I came pretty far, with only a couple updates left to go for the Johto region.
  
• We did, meanwhile, finish the Finding Paradise series.

Okay so all my actual productivity-wise accomplishments and things I got done this year boil down to gameblogging and also more gameblogging, but that is valid. I see no problems with this trajectory.

So... Happy New Year, everyone. Look for more Interlight, more Pokemon, more games, more Sara, more camaraderie, and more love. Does a year really need to be anything more than that?


Sara adds:
Celine covered the important stuff--this was the year I went from being lost to being found. I'm sorry to everyone who didn't have a good 2018, but how can I call 2018 anything other than the best three years of my life?

Thank you, everyone who welcomed me and us. I love you. The world is good because you are in it.

Comments

[xaq_the_aereon]

I have to agree. Regardless of what pitfalls may have come this year, it brought an adorable, cheeky woodrat into our lives. That automatically makes this a good year. ^_^

[kjorteo]

Less cheeky these days! To borrow a phrase Celine likes to use, woodrat is goodrat. :P

And aww, thank you. ^^; *hugs*

[xaq_the_aereon]

You're welcome, though I hope you can understand that I have a hard enough time taking that phrase at face value, especially when Celine uses it. :p

[kjorteo]

Celine: Woodrat is goodrat, though. :P

In all seriousness, Sara has matured a great deal since coming around. There was a lot of lingering framework from how I had designed the OC (default personality: flirty sass machine) that she was having fun enough playing along with at first, but eventually decided that just wasn't who she wanted to be anymore. Which, I always support her growth. :)

Sara: I do still quip sometimes, but, I mean, so does Celine. :P It's... I'm a person. I have layers. I find myself wanting to be taken seriously now.

[xaq_the_aereon]

*nods* I understand. It just may take me a while to get used to those changes; I find I tend to get hung up on a particular mental image of a person no matter how much they've moved away from that. For example, this is still my brain's default "this is what Sara is like" impression. ^_^;

[kjorteo]

I can still be silly and playful! I just try to be less, uh, cutting, generally?

And even then, I have my moods and moments, like anyone. I think it mostly just comes down to not wanting to be stereotyped. Does Celine have a default "this is what she's like?" Do you? :P Broad strokes, sure, but... you know.

[xaq_the_aereon]

Too true. That's just another flaw on my end, I suppose. XP

Regardless, it truly is a wonderful thing to have you in all our lives. (On the off-chance Eli and Caz feel left out, the same goes for you two as well. ^_^)

[kjorteo]

It's a wonderful thing to be in all your lives. It sure beats the alternative. ^^;

But thank you for welcoming me, truly. ^^

[penguinmayhem]

I for one am looking forward to nerding out even more about legendary pokemon because I am a huge nerd who likes talking about nerdy things.

I also look forward to cheering you on in your future endeavors. You are amazing and I hope you keep getting better, in every sense.

[kjorteo]

I absolutely need to do more Pokemons. Not only is finishing SoulSilver kind of a personal meaning-filled mission for me (like, enough to have given my team the Neverending Story theme names and all,) but the enthusiastic comments and support from the audience along the way (holy crap I have an audience o_o) really gives me life.

Thank you. You're.. at least a big part of the reason I keep doing this, and even while it's been delayed as other things keep distracting me (hi Istaria) I absolutely will keep going. There are so many things I'm already planning to do and daydreaming about what I'm going to say and how I'll present it when I do... aaa! I need to get to those points so I can get that stuff out.

(I came up with the exact proud-of-myself wording and everything for the joke I used for Yvette's statue in my Amon Ra LP and then sat on it for like eight months until I finally got to that update and could say it. These things happen sometimes.)

Also, *blush* ... Thank you. You are kind and thoughtful and the general well wishes mean a lot to me--to both of us really--and I'm/we're all too happy to keep cheering you on as well. You're a welcome part of this whole "We feel good because we're surrounded by people who are good" thing.

[penguinmayhem]

And Alola still awaits you.


No pressure or anything but, you know, some day, I believe you will deeply enjoy it. And also probably have some interesting things to say.



Also look I'm waiting for Freedom Planet 2 I've gotten pretty good at patience it's fine we're cool don't rush yourself. You have more than enough stress as is. Pokémon should never be a source of more. Not for anyone. That's kinda antithetical to its very core concept.

[kjorteo]

I am super looking forward to what you have to say. That's kind of been my reaction with every single update I've made so far. Your insights are just awesome and are a part of what I love about doing this run.

[xaq_the_aereon]

FP2's still not out yet? D:

...Well, at least I didn't miss it...

[penguinmayhem]

The devteam is very positively open about not committing to a release date until it's almost done. And the first game took like five years or something.

I'd much rather wait than have something rushed that sucks.

[xaq_the_aereon]

Agreed. A good game is definitely worth the wait. *holds up copy of Timespinner on Steam* Case in point. ^_^

[kjorteo]

"A delayed game is eventually good, a rushed game is forever bad." ~ Shigeru Miyamoto

[davidn]

Thanks as always for being you. Non-novel writing is just as valuable for keeping in touch with people :) I'm looking forward to seeing Celine in fursuit form next year!

[kjorteo]

I'm looking forward to that as well! I just paid the final invoice for the partial... now I just need to wait for it to arrive, start studying my newly-made tail off when it comes to care and maintenance and all that, oh and maybe see if I can find custom costume/clothing commissions to get the outfit that's supposed to go with this. :x

But aaaaaaaaaa excitemeeeennnntttt

[dorchadas]

Almost all the writing advice I see says that just writing consistently is more important than writing only when inspired, so I think that gameblogging is valuable even irrespective of how I've enjoyed reading the content.

Happy New Year!

[kjorteo]

Hey, if I'm writing something and people are enjoying the content, it's hard to complain, right?

Thank you so much, and I hope you have/had a happy new year as well. :)

[xyzzysqrl]

I feel like this is a good point. I keep saying "Yeah I don't write anymore, I just blog about games." and uh...

those are words, sqrl.

So yeah I kinda need to remember this one.

[penguinmayhem]

Look at Steven King. Man writes utter garbage and solid gold and he don't care.


Well I mean he doesn't need to care now but my point still stands, the man just gushes prose and isn't afraid of being bad to get to the good.

On the other hand, not everyone can do that.

[dorchadas]

I mean, churn out enough of anything and there'll be genius in there somewhere. Words, food, business plans, whatever.

Though as you say, it's hard to adjust. The major reason I don't speak Japanese better than I do is having to get over years of "I must not make any mistakes when I speak," saying nothing, and getting minimal practice.

[swordianmaster]

I didn't do a year-end post and didn't even notice you guys's until just now, but, well. Several things to note.

First is that the Gau analogy is far too apt for words. You aren't the abusive asshole of a dad who threw her out calling her a demon child, your ex was.

And by the end of this year, she had a full stable of friends and companions willing to stand by her and help her out with a chance to approach that past... and she found the closure she wanted, even if it wasn't a picturesque Happy Ending. In fact, the closure was a happier ending than patching things up would have been.

Also she's exceptionally good at doing 9999 damage, but only with skill and foreknowledge.

[kjorteo]

And I can crash the game by pretending to be a cat.

wait

[kjorteo]

I feel like the difference here is that Gau's failed reconciliation came because his father was clearly not in his right mind, and Gau found it in himself (with the support of his newfound friends and spiritual family) to give him a "forgive them, for they know not what they do" reaction and at least be happy that he's alive and physically well.

My ex... was not aware that Sara was an actual living person (because I mean at the time neither was I,) but she very knowingly and deliberately treated my "OC" the way a yandere treats the Other Girl competition, to borrow Sara's analogy/assessment. Due to a mixture of that and what she did to me in hindsight, let's just say Sara has not been so quick to forgive.

Sara: She had you under her spell and was nothing but a Comedic Sociopathy trope to me. Good riddance.

[penguinmayhem]

So clearly what Celine needs is a cute young artist to come hit her with a brush until she's got shivs coming out her ears and is also an invisible mute unconscious zombie kappa.





Nobody ever said I have good ideas.

[kjorteo]

That was her last relationship.