I dreamed a dream of foodcrimes

[kjorteo]

Last night's dream, part 1:

Denny's unveiled a new set of menu additions for... I don't know if it had a name, but various kinds of grilled tortilla sandwiches.

Like, picture a grilled cheese sandwich, okay? Picture the texture of the bread, all buttered and crisp on the outside, fluffy and, well, breadlike on the inside. Now picture if someone took a somehow-thick-as-bread tortilla and did the same thing to it, then folded it in half and put sandwich filling in the middle. I might possibly be talking about the mutant offspring of a soft taco at this point.

But when I say sandwich filling, I mean, like, actual "things you feed your six-year-old" sandwiches. There was an entire line of them, but the three I remember include actual grilled cheese, peanut butter & jelly, and a lettuce/tomato/some sort of shredded meat (I think ham but could have been turkey) blend.

Last night's dream part 2:

I woke up about an hour before my alarm went off, tried to go back to sleep, and kept having 10-15 minute doze-off sessions, and every single one of them had a follow-up dream where I was telling someone (friends/family/etc.) about this and they reacted with equal parts "yeah that sounds like something Denny's would do all right" and "I want one."

Comments

[kjorteo]

I want you all to close your eyes for a moment and imagine the kind of stoned college student that would go to the trouble of dining out and going to Denny's just to have a PB&J sandwich (on a grilled tortilla.)

[swordianmaster]

sara that's just all college students

college sucks and then you're in debt for the rest of your life

[kjorteo]

Yes, but I think her point was that going to a restaurant to order PB&J is like going to a restaurant to order bottom of the barrel cheap ramen. Like, the grocery store or even gas station convenience store is right over there.

[swordianmaster]

...You don't go to Denny's to make intelligent life choices.

You go to Denny's because it's 3 AM and you're so high that you need the food now but lack the coordination to make it yourself.

[kjorteo]

Hence the "yeah that scans" reaction in part 2, I guess.

[xaq_the_aereon]

I don't have to close my eyes for that, I can think of a number of my former classmates who fit that description perfectly. XP

*makes a note to pass this idea on to the Denny's right around the corner because that sounds like something that would totally work around here*

[swordianmaster]

A quesadilla?

[kjorteo]

The cheese one, maybe.

[swordianmaster]

I mean, quesadillas by name have to have cheese in them, sure, because otherwise they'd just be dillas, but you could certainly make a BLT dilla.

[kjorteo]

I feel like "BLT dilla" is something Dracovar would draw.

[xyzzysqrl]

I have absolutely seen recipes for non-cheese quesadillas.

I have also seen the outraged comments that it was no true quesadilla.

[dorchadas]

I would definitely eat, like, a hummusdilla or something like that.

[xyzzysqrl]

The foodstuff I was thinking of in my comment above involved sweet potato instead of cheese.

[dorchadas]

Hmmm...I usually have texture issues with anything but fire-roasted sweet potato on a stick, but with a crispy tortilla round it, maybe that would work. I'd certainly try it.

[davidn]

The idea of a thick tortilla sounds almost like naan bread. But what I really wanted to mention is that peanut butter and jelly on a sandwich is such a... bizarre and foreign combination to me - it's like someone suggesting having tomatoes with chocolate. This must be what it was like when my German cousins had never thought of the concept of melting cheese on toast - it was a totally new idea to them that was so mundane in my world.

This is separate from my already-present disgust of peanut butter - just the idea of its smell and texture makes me very uncomfortable. It's something that does exist in Scotland, but Americans put it in absolutely everything.

[xyzzysqrl]

An Australian friend of mine once told me the idea of peanut butter as a confection was "uniquely American" and it was interesting following down those lines. ("So it's just plain jelly you eat then? Nothing else? Just sweet preserves on bread?")

[chalcedony_starlings]

^βTo be fair, the amount of sugar (or high fructose corn syrup) that goes into so much American peanut butter… I don't know if it's like that everywhere.

In some ways, a lot of American food is confections. It's like Candy Land, but more disquieting.

[chalcedony_starlings]

^αIsn't that textural description almost like one of those Taco Bell things? A chalupa or gordita or something?

^βI mean, “mutant offspring of a soft taco” would about cover it if so.

[xaq_the_aereon]

"Mutant offspring of a soft taco" sounds like a description of most of Taco Bell's menu.